4/11 - IT WAS FULL OF GOOD MUSIC (AND CHANGE)

Please enjoy this relic from Freshman year (braces and all), shortly after trying hot fries (a classic public school delicacy) for the first time.

WHAT RACHEL LISTENED TO ACROSS 4 YEARS OF HIGH SCHOOL, A PLAYLIST

Freshman Year

First Day of My Life by Bright Eyes: This song was what I listened to in the weeks preceding Freshman year, obsessing over the possibility that I wouldn't be able to make friends in this "big" public school.

Happily by One Direction: I was still on that One Direction kick (weren't we all) and this song helped me through all those ~freshman problems~ that seemed so impossible at the time.

Wait by M83: Are you recognizing the trend in depressing music? Was I really going through it that much? This song still stands to this day, though; it's honestly just super beautiful. 

Heartbreak Girl by 5 Seconds of Summer: I went to the 5 Seconds of Summer concert and got in trouble with security for being creepy and watching the band through a crack in a fence. This song is super nostalgic for me; I feel like when I was into this song I was obsessed with being a manic pixie dream girl in songs like this one in order to attract a sick-looking, greasy boy in a band that doesn't actually exist.

4u by Blackbear: This was hands down my favorite song of Freshman year. To everyone who hypes up the new Blackbear music more than old Blackbear, you're just wrong. 

Greek Tragedy by the Wombats

Gives You Hell by the All-American Rejects

Sophomore Year

Jessica by Major Lazer and Ezra Koenig: Love, love, love this song. Weird in all the best ways. 

Do It, Try It by M83: I saw M83 this year with Maria, Josh, and Sun. An amazing concert and an incredible band that managed to be even better live. 

The Less I Know The Better by Tame Impala: The first Tame Impala song I heard. Two years later, it's probably my favorite band and I would lay down my life to see them live. Also, Tame Impala probably infiltrated my mind and made me crunchy. 

Someday by the Strokes: Summer 2016 marked the beginning of my obsession with the Strokes. I felt very ~mature~ listening to an older rock band. I think the Strokes shaped a lot of my music taste is now, as well as represents the massive growth I underwent throughout sophomore year. Halfway through sophomore year I think I realized that people would still like me even if I didn't mold my personality and my interests to fit theirs.

Forrest Gump by Frank Ocean

Salad Days by Mac DeMarco

No.1 Party Anthem by Arctic Monkeys

Junior Year

Yamborghini High by A$AP Mob and Juicy J: This might be my favorite song of all time (I'm not kidding). I don't think A$AP Mob intended this song to be empowering and inspirational to a teenage girl, but it really is for me. It also makes me think about how much I value my friends, and how devastated I would be by the loss of one of them (like A$AP Mob was devastated by Yams' death).

Hunk Beach by The Walters: This song (and this band) represent a time in my life where I was coming to terms with the fact that being vulnerable and emotional and soft was okay and even beneficial at times.

Buttercup by Hippo Campus: This band reminds me of becoming really close with Jada and Nate. The first time us three spent time together was at the Hippo Campus concert. (Are you starting to realize how much money I spend on concert tickets?) I value these two friendships so, so much. They have helped me develop so many facets of myself and literally physically sheltered me when I needed. 

Thunder by Roy Blair

Bitter by Palace

The Hours by Beach House

Self Control By Frank Ocean

Senior Year

Yes I'm Changing by Tame Impala: I think I really came into my own in the summer preceding senior year and then during senior year itself. I've become extremely unapologetic about myself and confrontational (which can sometimes actually be a negative thing, I think). This song is about leaving behind something in your life, which might be painful, but is ultimately for the best and will lead to more exciting and mysterious things to come.

Mind Mischief by Tame Impala

Come For Me by Twin Peaks: Yes, Nate and I survived the mosh pit at Twin Peaks it's true. This band's music has been there with me throughout the absolute mess and tragedy that was senior year.

Blue Coupe by Twin Peaks

Boomers by Twin Peaks

Fangs by Matt Champion

Love My Way by the Psychedelic Furs

Season 2 Episode 3 by Glass Animals

SWAMP by Brockhampton

LIQUID by Brockhampton              

JUNKY by Brockhampton

STAR by Brockhampton

There is just nothing to be said about Brockhampton. They know what's at stake, and they deliver. I hope they're ready to see our ugly faces again in June! :-)

You Send Me by Sam Cooke: <3 I realized this year that I can actually have feelings for people (HAHA I'm actually not kidding), which has resulted in both the most painful, sickening moments, but also the most wonderful experiences of my life.

Wait A Minute! by Willow

Here Comes Sunshine by Grateful Dead

Overall: High school is better for some people than others. And even then, I don't think if you peak in high school you're necessarily screwed for the rest of your life. That being said, don't freak out about it too much. Because, at the end of the day YOU WILL BE ALRIGHT and in all honesty NOTHING REALLY MATTERS THAT MUCH. Don't start preparing for standardized tests in sophomore year or even the beginning of junior year- it won't help. You really don't need to start writing your college essays during summer. But on your college essays, DO be personal and intimate even if it makes you uncomfortable. Also, flat out say what you're passionate about and who you are as a person. The admissions employee reading your essay DOES NOT CARE if you sound quirky or well-versed over if you sound genuine and interesting. Juniors, spend what time you have during summer doing those GODAWFUL IB SENIOR SUMMER ASSIGNMENTS. If I could curse on this page, I would. Those assignments were so terrible and confusing. On another note, GPA means so much less than people make it seem so don't stress about it (and I'm not saying that because mine was bad; I was a junior marshal). ALSO senior year is SO MUCH HARDER than everyone tells you so be prepared, and you can still make new friends then!

On a final note, if you are someone who has consistently been an overachiever during your life and you're starting to make bad or worse grades than usual- you are not a failure, you are not becoming dumb, you are not worth any less, and you will still be successful.